apple martini

Dear Tipsy,

I was at the bar getting my swerve on with my ladies at our favorite spot. We were minding our own business knockin back our favorite apple martinis…1,2,3…and then the bartender served us round #4, compliments of the cutest little old man sitting directly across from us at the bar. Innocently enough, we accept. Pshhh, these things aren’t cheap ya know. It would almost be an insult not to accept. On our way out we head over to the lil fella to thank him for his generosity and told him how adorable he was and how he reminded me so much of my grandfather. He blushes and says, ‘oh dear, don’t mention it.’ Next thing we know, gramps grabs our asses with a freakish bear grip and says ‘I’ve been knockin boots since you were in diapers…ready to have your world rocked!?

*NEVER ACCEPT AN APPLE MARTINI FROM AN OLD MAN

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